*CLAP* O! Truth be told I am not spiritual in any way you read about in The big books I mostly pray to trees among plants and animals--to the sun, wind and water My spirit is too bruised--too beat by the world to have any real faith The human experiment failed--cruelty is rising from all sides this time again For all the simple life I have lived I have not and do not now desire much for prayer Not since mine went unanswered at age 7 as I cried below cruel clouds above I believed my hungry fears from such a pure place was enough to be heard then Those feelings felt welled violent up through earth through my toes and out as tears I thought my request of hard-clasped-childish-hands was clear-throated and true Maybe my focus too multitudinous or it fell on a wrong gods' ear that day Maybe then I was lost and damned to maintain my small endless void inside Still I wanted to know I was seen--that suffering can be mended with witnessing I then hoped this my lived experience not to hold true for all of peoples kind too So soon I shifted my aim to re-frame my outcomes answering to mine with love Hope be that others are heard by a kind leaning ear like mine I now lend out Hope went to knowing I cannot control the direction except what surrounds me This silver need come from lacking and absence--suffering for very real desire Turned want only to be wanted--as you might need a simple soldier at your side The you right there reading these words now even as you fidget in your mind Maybe you are following my feelings for just this fleeting and fractional moment Or you from my future looking back on this without pity but rather some grace Reading these hopes and wants and desires--knowing to answer when called *REST* 2024, November 21th, Thursday—Before The Falls Of Kumano Nachi-taisha Shrine